Book Notes: Being Martha

[AN: All notes are taken verbatim from the book. I claim no rights to them.]

Being Martha by Lloyd Allen

1. Introduction
   1. Somewhere along the line, the media portrayal of Martha became a cross of Betty Crocker & Cruella de Vil
2. Martha & Me
   1. Martha’s hands were never idle
   2. It was often noticed that Alexis was ignored
   3. Alexis was often glad when someone other than her mother picked her up from school
   4. Has a hard time saying thank you or I’m sorry even if she was feeling it
3. Growing Up Kostyra
   1. Martha Sr. hates it when she reads things negative about her late husband
   2. Martha is exactly like her father
   3. Martha fell for Andy HARD!
4. Keeping Home
   1. She’s always teaching me something. That’s my mother in a nutshell. If you can teach her something, she will listen to you. If she doesn’t understand, she will ask questions.
   2. She is fascinated with acquiring knowledge
   3. Knowledge to her isn’t the 3R’s but S>>>skill, and the more skills you know, the further you will get in life
   4. Most daughters fight with their mothers about issues. Your mother would like it her way and you want it your way
   5. Stories about Alexis and Martha are exaggerated
5. No Limits
   1. She knows when a house has good bones, a recipe has good flavor, and when a person has good skills
   2. You don’t schmooze with Martha. She’s not going to have a pajama party with you. She’s a different species
   3. Martha didn’t ask her staff to do anything she wouldn’t do herself
   4. She could be a tyrant, but she was right there with us all the way
   5. Martha was a tough teacher, but often those are the people who teach us the most
6. Mentoring
   1. Working with her was bootcamp in how to start and run a business
   2. Martha always regretted her outbursts, even if she could not articulate it in the way people wanted her to
   3. Martha was not the type of friend to cry with and smother with hugs & kisses
   4. “Operate beyond all normal limits!”
   5. Drink ample amounts of coffee if you couldn’t keep up with her
   6. Tough for a man is great. Tough for a woman, she’s a bitch.
   7. Martha always believed nothing was insurmountable and that when an opportunity comes your way, it was put in front of you for a reason
   8. Her words could sting but she usually meant nothing by it
   9. She had the will and the way to get whatever she wanted
   10. Almost everyone who deserved credit got it. Those who didn’t are the one complaining.
   11. Martha is special like an artist, and when you throw in an intellect that is off the charts, you get someone who may not act like the rest of us.
   12. You have to really understand the dynamic and the near insanity of being that  brilliant to really get a handle on Martha
   13. Martha provokes a longing in people>>>they want to get close to her, but that can never happen. She’s her own person-a private person
   14. Martha’s going to be as big as McDonald’s
7. Doing Everything
   1. Parody books
   2. Martha Stewart’s Better Than You Are at Entertaining
   3. Is Martha Stewart Living?
   4. Martha Stewart’s Excruciatingly Perfect Weddings
   5. She never spoke about Andy after he left
   6. Her mind was very quick; either she like your idea or she didn’t
   7. She even insisted on having lunch with us. Having lunch together was important to her.
   8. Once yelled at truckers ruining her stone driveway>>”Get the hell off my driveway!”
   9. Due to a foot injury, once did a show segment on one foot
   10. Around Martha, humor was a survival technique
   11. Find me another human being running a business who isn’t controlling
8. The Going Gets Tough
   1. Until you travel with Martha, you don’t fully know Martha
   2. Martha thinks that whatever anyone does is important
   3. She can’t deal with emotions the way most people do. And yet you can sometimes feel how desperately she wants to have someone to talk to
   4. 1997-Alexis marries a lawyer
   5. Martha is neither terribly masculine or feminine
9. On Trial
10. Another Place to be Martha
    1. Alexis is one of the few people who can beat Martha in Scrabble
    2. Next to Alderson Prison, Wal-Mart was the most happenin’ place in town
11. Back Home
    1. There is a disagreement among family & friends as to whether Martha has “changed” since prison
12. Moving Forward
    1. Martha may be a young girl at heart. She doesn’t just stand there by herself and appreciate things-she shares what she sees with the rest of us
13. Epilogue: Martha Triumphant